Marriage as for the good of each other and the good of society … The Catechism of the Catholic Church tells us that marriage by its very nature is “ordered to the good of the couple, as well as to the generation and education of children” (CCC 1660). Marriage is the foundation on which our society has its foundations. The future of society and its relationship to the one true good that is God depends on the concept marriage and family life.
The first important decision is deciding the date of your wedding. When this is done you should immediately contact one of the priests and check if this date is free and set an appropriate time for the wedding celebration.
BEFORE THE MARRIAGE CAN TAKE PLACE
The Priest will wish to see you on a number of occasions; these meetings should take place well in advance of your wedding. The priest will discuss the following points:-
Please note that the scripture readings must be from the Jerusalem Bible.
IF YOU WERE MARRIED BEFORE
You MUST speak with your Priest to establish if it is possible for you to celebrate your Wedding in the Catholic Church.
No arrangements can be made prior to this meeting with the Priest.
IF YOU LIVE OUTSIDE THE PARISH
If you want to marry in St Mary’s Church you will need written permission from your own Parish Priest. He will prepare with you the necessary “paper work” for the Wedding. However with his written permission one of St Mary’s priests can fill in the form with you.
WHAT IF MY FIANCÉ(E) IS NOT A CATHOLIC?
A non-Catholic who is either baptised or not baptised is very welcome to marry a baptised Catholic in the Catholic Church. They are also welcome to invite their Vicar/Minister to assist the Priest with the Wedding Ceremony. If you wish to marry your non-Catholic partner in their Church/Chapel, you require a Special Dispensation, which can be arranged by your priest.
Registrar’s Office
When the date for the marriage has been set, arrangement must be made with the Registrar’s Office to register the forthcoming marriage and when the certificates or licences have been obtained they should be given to the officiating priest. No marriage can take place without these documents.
All couples are expected to take a Marriage Preparation Course; this will be arranged by contacting Marriage Care
YOU ARE REQUIRED TO DO THE FOLLOWING ACTIONS
(1) Make an appointment with your local Registrar
(2) Undertake a marriage preparation course.
DOCUMENTS YOU ARE REQUIRED TO OBTAINED ARE
For Catholics:-
For the non-Catholic:-
A Useful Resource: St. John’s Cathedral Portsmouth Marriage Readings
Marriage
The church honours and treasures the married love between husband and wife. For Christians marriage mirrors the relationship between Christ and the Church. Thus married love was described by St. Paul as a “great mystery” (Ephesians 5.32) and came to be recognised as one of the sacraments.
Marriage like other vocations calls us to reflect God’s love to the world in a particular way. Married people in their exclusive and lifelong commitment to each other witness to and draw strength from how Christ has loved us.
The wedding vows that couples exchange express what is at the heart of Christian marriage. The words “for better or for worse” point to the truth that life together will have its challenges as well as its rewards. The grace of the sacrament inspires couples to turn to the Lord not just in days of happiness but also in times of sorrow to seek the strength to transform any situation with love and indeed forgiveness. It is important to state that while upholding the value of perseverance and the hope of reconciliation, the Church does not demand that anyone remain in a situation that has become impossible.
In the Catholic tradition, marriage requires a willingness on behalf of the couple to welcome the children with whom they may be blessed. At the same time, the church holds that married life is fruitful and life-giving of itself.
Marriage is a profound commitment. It is a commitment that each party must choose freely, giving their full consent without reservation. For this reason, appropriate preparation is essential both at a personal level and in regard to establishing that all is in order for the marriage to proceed happily and joyfully.
In becoming husband and wife you give yourselves to each other for life. You promise to be true and faithful, to support and cherish each other until death, so that your years together will be the living out in love of the pledge you now make. May your love for each other reflect the enduring love of Christ for his Church.
CHECK LIST
Have you:- Registered the marriage at the Registry Office?
Made a booking for the marriage preparation course?
Collected the Certificates or Licences from the registrar’s Office?
Obtained Baptismal Certificates and Letters of Freedom?
Given the documents to the Priest?
Contacted the Organist?
Contacted the Florist?
Made provision for payments?
Made provision for a rehearsal?
The Priests at St. Mary’s wish to offer you their very best wishes for your future marriage together.
A lifelong exclusive commitment … through marriage a husband and wife give themselves completely to one another. They promise to love each other freely, truly, fruitfully and faithfully for the rest of their lives, through good times and bad. They go on to express this through their sexual union which brings them intimately closer together, and by the grace of God, their relationship grows beyond themselves and they build a home for family and a place of Christian welcome.
A sign of Christ’s radical love … The love shown between a Christian husband and wife becomes a sign of the radical love shown by Christ in his life, death and resurrection. Christian marriage is not just an expression of human affection, it is a sacrament of the love of Christ, a way for husband and wife to minister to each other and to their children. And in this way the Christian family becomes a place where others can see the beauty and power of Christ’s redeeming love, a love that is often obscured in our fallen world. This is why marriage is a Christian vocation.
Christian marriage is a sacrament, a vocation, and if you choose to be married it will be a sign of your love for Christ as much as of your love for another person. But it is not the kind of call that pulls you away from your natural hopes and expectations. Marriage is not easier to live than other vocations, but it is easier to explain. If you long to be married, and there are no other big pulls in your life, then you should be at peace about seeking a husband or wife.
The story of Adam and Eve, at the very beginning of the Bible, pictures how God made man and woman for each other, and for the future and flourishing of the human race. The Rite of Celebrating Matrimony celebrates married life as ‘established as the one blessing that was not forfeited by original sin or washed away in the flood’, suggesting it was part of our original way of life in Paradise. We were not created to be alone.
The Marriage Rites of the Church celebrate the vows. The couple continue to celebrate the sacrament day in day out in their life together and in their family. So the minister of the sacrament is not the priest or deacon who officiates, but the couple themselves.
The answer to this question depends on your individual circumstances. A divorcee whose former spouse has died is free to marry. Some divorcees apply to the church for an ‘annulment’ of their marriage: after investigation of the circumstances of the marriage and what happened in the breakdown of the relationship, the Church may sometimes declare a marriage ‘null’. This means it was not a true marriage with full freedom and commitment on both sides at the time of the wedding. This is not a divorce declaring a marriage is over; it is a declaration that there never was a true marriage, the ceremony was ‘nullified’ by the incomplete participation or commitment of the couple, so the partners are still free to wed.
A Baptised Catholic is free to marry a baptised Christian of another denomination, with a dispensation from his or her priest. The Catholic partner is asked to commit themselves to do their best to maintain their catholic faith, and to pass on the faith to their children.
With a dispensation from the Bishop, a baptised Catholic is free to marry a person who has not been baptised or belongs to anther religion. The Catholic partner is asked to commit themselves to do their best to maintain their catholic faith, and to pass on the faith to their children. The priest who prepares you for marriage can arrange the dispensation.
Sacraments are celebrations of the love of God in our lives, which is always a free gift we can never earn or buy.
However the Church building needs to be maintained, lit, and heated for the ceremony, and all year round to be there for when you want it for your wedding so a donation is suggested.
Also the people who make the wedding, musicians, florists, Registrar, and the priest or deacon all give of their time, talents and qualifications, at the service and before. Some, such as the Registrar or the organist, have their regular scale of charges of which they will inform you.
Before arranging any dates for receptions or honeymoon, you should approach the priest of the parish you live in (and also the priest of the church you hope to be married in if that is not the parish where you are living) to fix dates and times, and begin the spiritual and liturgical preparations. You will then need to book the date with your local Registrar of births, deaths and marriage.
